Mustn’t grumble

As old ocean
Grumbles, deep down joints
Are scanning for movement
Not the way it used to be,
When all was young and new,
And lateral movement a daily joy,
Untainted by fear of damage, break-
Age, or flipped wrong-side-up ligaments,
Tendons squeak tensional protest, as
Old edges to a young body complain,
The gym a place of self mutilation and
Torture, eagerly and easily signed up for,
We pay for the privilege of suffering
In company, misery does not want to be
Alone, and so it is, I push my aching muscles and
Protesting joints to their limit, knowing
That body beautiful is not important
Yet being healthy is. Bow down to the
Shrine of self-flagellation that is called
Fitness, bow down and be counted
Head-low, for this is the new age of
Old timers getting into the swing of
Things, oldtimers no longer rule the
World, but we sure as hell can crowd
The gym!

Love conquers all

You spend a lifetime, waiting
For the right one, the one for
You, so wrapped up in your daily
Life that when they do come, you
Are two years into true love, a half-
Step from marriage, and you stop
And pinch yourself, because you are
Well and truly happy, for once, and
It didn’t cost your soul, or require a
Massive sacrifice, or some Hollywood
Fairytale ending, but rather just hard
Graft, and hope, sprinkled with a dose
Of serendipity, to make all of your
Dreams come true, as if everything
Were just waiting to fall into place,
Busy hanging in the balance until such
Time as the pieces could simply fall
Into place, so easily, so smoothly, that
Even in retrospect, sitting in the cat-
Bird seat, you watch the world slot
Together, just as so many years ago,
So many times, you watched it crumble
So many times, so far, that you thought
It could never be whole again, never
Be balanced, even with all your hard work
Keeping your shit together, pulling
Yourself up by your own socks, telling
Yourself that it will get better, that it
Has to, until the sound of your own
Internal voice drones on like a monot-
Onous bedtime story nursery rhyme,
Putting all of your get up and go to bed,
Making some days hard enough to
Even get out of bed, those long slow
Cold days where the world spins on,
Leaving you standing stunned, silent,
And then you wake up one bright crisp
Morn, like today, and you realise that
Not only has your life moved on, and
You with it, your life is better, not just
Good but great, the fairytale has landed
Somewhere within your life estate,
And all you can do is pinch yourself,
Pinch and squirm and smile, because
Everything you have ever really wanted
Has come true all the while, so bear
With, and hang in, don’t fuss, and
Carry on, don’t quit, make good, and
Have the strength to stand alone, cause
Fairytale endings happen everyday,
No matter how bad it might seem to
Get, or how cold and lonely your way,
For life works in cycles, some are up,
And some down, but if you stick it out
Try your hardest, push when all energy
Fails, you’ll find yourself where I now am,
Happy, comfortable, no longer off the
Rails, for love conquers
All fear.

just gone

I miss you already,
Although just gone,
Your sweet kiss a wisp,
Leaving me smiling alone,
The morning just waking,
Teddy’s poo on the floor,
Sharp tang of bleach and soap,
Take over the kitchen once more.

Your gentlest touch, cold
To touch, your twinkling eyes
Still on mine, the cats playing as
Always, and the old smelly guy’s
Still fine.

The waking house, Sky still
Sleeping, ticking clocks in my ear, stereo
Clicking away the time of the year, and yet
Still I can see you, still smiling, still mine, your
Wicked sense of humour, your gorgeous self tangled
With mine.

Peace at last,
Still inside, calm from the whirling storm,
Meteors touching down in Russia like a dream,
Sci-fi movie come true, Bible-thumpers screaming
The world’s ending too soon, while our hopes are
Still warm, our eyes up to the sky, the cats are
Still playing, Teddy growling his dissent,
Wishy whinging for love, Sky snoozing
In her room, and me thinking of you,
This is life as we know it, no surprise
It is true, and the only perfection
That we don’t already have,
Is to tie that sacred knot,
When I get to marry,
You.

i miss

Your body, wrapped around
Mine, our four legs inter-
Twined, your tousled locks,
Blond waves of sweetness pressed
Against my chest, warm morning glow
Through pyjama skin, my lips kiss
Your forehead, and you snuggle
Deeper in, burrowing your mind
Into certain deep, fighting the waking
Demons trying to disturb your rest-
Full sleep, your arms curled over and
Under my rising chest, my shoulder
Pinned beneath your heat, and all
I want to do is stay right here, perfect
Silence born on cotton down, our
Bodies wrapped, one curling shape,
My breath stroking seconds until we
Wake, this is the way of every day, to
Open my eyes, wishing wakfulness away,
Only to extricate myself against my will,
And wish I was there sleeping with you still,
So darling, so sweet, so perfect for me,
That going to work I am still folded in,
With your hot body luxuriating me down,
Your soft breath caressing my chest,
And my mind somewhere back cosy in my dream,
Where everything is perfect, just like
Our waking scene.

Author interview for Killer App with Bill Thomson from thebookcast.com

Excited is not the word.  Hyper, buzzing, twitchy even, is more close to how I really feel.  Ok, so maybe for well known authors or those who have been around the block a few times (maybe even me twenty years down the line) an interview may not be the most exciting thing to happen since sliced bread.  But it is exciting, and it happened to me, so please bear with my buzzing about it for a moment.

Speaking with Bill was a real pleasure.  He was calm, cool, and collected, professional, helpful, and a good laugh.

I, on the other hand, was nervous, flighty, and chatty, which comes through in the interview, but that’s ok – that’s just me.

So, without further ado, please listen to my first ever author interview, for my horror novel Killer App.