Sitting here, slumbering pooch nestled
Up warm back to base of my spine, black
Cat chittering excitedly from atop bed-
Room door, not swung wide enough to
Again knock hanging Eiffel Tower pic
From it’s single nail in the wall, old
Man Wishbone stretching as he settles,
Claws scrabbling for stretchy-purchase
On original hardwood hard-varnished floor, and
Still my aching temple does not relinquish the fact,
That not twenty-four hours ago, this self-
Same I, was wound up like coiled silver spring,
One more lost soul, caught up in the moment,
About to lose it, and all for the memory,
One clear clean frozen fraction of time,
Flooded with the warmth of memory, and
The pain of loss, this self-same man, me,
Was on the brink of being back in his
Mother’s warm smiling embrace, those
Soulful laughingly love-filled compassionate eyes,
Although a dear stranger, dear all the same,
Same down-dragging corner of mouth,
Same wicked humour glinting in eyes,
Until the puffy stroke-folded cheek,
Muscle toying with the hint of a smile,
Like an old man teasing one last curl of
The dumbbell, smiling while given muscles
Give in, she smiled at me, glad for some
Company, a friendly face. So I smiled
Back, and we chatted about the weather
And gloves, til my skinnydecaflatte arrived,
And I had no more excuses to stay, yet
I would have anyway, if the tears had not
Burned my eyes tightly shut, dry heat threatening
To burst the damns of self-inflicted self-reserve,
And chased me out of that plastic place,
Into the rain-splattered stony cathedral outside,
Where words and thoughts flooded through me,
In through my deepest soul pain, then
Back out again, until I could no more read
The words on my screen, and keep straight
Faced, and so I stood, back to nothing at all,
Silent torrents of loss, coursing down rain-
Damped cheeks, lost in my own world
Of memory and pain, wondering when I would ever see you again, mom,
Writing frozen fingers tapping the screen,
Blurred vision reading words quickly unseen
So much deep unearthment, earth movers away,

The knowledge that my mother’s love had reached through
The past, the last half-decade of years, to smile
Lovingly at me through familiar stranger’s eyes,
All rolled up together into an endless deep-breathing sigh,
Only to crash me back down, to earth, concrete and stone,
Reminding me that we are never alone, for our loved ones
Follow us, to be around when we’re down, and smile out at
Us from strangers’ eyes, to remind us of who we really are,
And of how far we’ve come, that as long as we haven’t given
Up, then we are nowhere near done, to never give up,
Nor surrender our selves, that’s the trick of all time,
No matter how old. So don’t give up, or
Give in, even if all seems to go, for your mother
May be peaking out of someone else’s eyes, just to
Say a quick hello, and how do you do, and
Fair thee well, goodnight, sweet dreams,
Let us all see what tomorrow brings.

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