Tag Archives: life

Mid-life stasis

This is no
Mid-life crisis,
No crisis at all.

Instead, I feel
Empty
And calm,
No longer rolled tight
In a ball
Of stress, and strife,
Fighting for breath,
Yearning for more
Life.

And now
Is the stasis,
No more status quo
Of chasing, and running
With nowhere to go
But round, once more
Mad rush to the floor.

Still,
All is still
And quiet, inside
The voices of urgency
Crying loud, like seagull-screech
Deep in chest, they have left
Empty nest, neither squawking birds,
Nor baby chicks crying for food,
No up and down roller coaster,
Just slight shift in mood.

I go up, and down,
And back again,
Always the same,
Dearest of friends,
Round to call,
Yet not the same,
For underneath it all
Is something calm, leaves coating the ground
Multi-coloured nature’s blanket, unraked,
Unneeded, unnoticed, unheeded, but all of that’s
Just noise, background hum,
Sliced through by the tinnitus,
Sound of silence, constant
And when all’s said and done,
Cliche after cliche marching two-by-two,
This one is truer than that one,
My eyes are clearer than yours,
Money pouring from pockets opens doors
That don’t really matter.

Will I ever hear the little pitter-patter
Of un-padded feet?
Is that the aim of life,
Or something else entirely,
Something achingly deep,
Soulfully wide,
Scarringly bright,
That we carefully hide,
As if
To share
That one deep dark truth within,
Would be the greatest of fears realised,
Life’s ultimate sin,
Against ourselves,
Throbbing ache deep in gut,
Or just above,
As if the hole of lonely acceptance
No longer misses the love,
But instead resides – monkey-like –
In chest,
Never to be warmed by soft-armed vest,
The hug of a loved one
Momentary relief
Loves empty crater
Memory of happiness
Slightest of balms
For later, but now all we have
Is the roundabout thought,
The feeling of loss
That itself means nought,
Great empty divide
Basin invisible in the dark,
The playground from hell,
Broken reality,
Healing heart.

Social death

When all the noise,
The world quiets down,
And what’s left –
Glowing screen-lit eyes,
Face down.

When all apps are empty,
Scoured for every last little bit,
And we look up, and realise
What’s what,
The truth glares us back in the mind;
All online is empty.

Like followers of a false hope,
God and life digitised to 1s and 0s,
Those of us who have not battened down,

Find ourselves blown away,
Forgetting what it means
To be human, and swing
In the breeze of happenstance
And broken thoughts;
A life left hanging in the balance,
Waiting.

Confusion

I look around,
And wonder why
So many people
Have pushed the button
On self-destruct.

I know human beings
Can be selfish and mean,
Horrendous and spiteful,
Then turn around, and
Blow us away, with
Blazing insight and
Unbridled compassion.

So why is it,
That all that I read,
In the main-stream news,
Are idiots’ views, the selfish
And mean, close-minded, hateful
Meme, of the “us” and the “them,”
Strident voices of ludicrously short-
Sighted hate, self-aggrandising voices,
Who, in their inane chatter,
Drown out common sense,
Insensing the followers,
And anti-followers alike,
This great brain-washed subconscious leakage,
Global in spill,
Human-kinds current poison of choice,
Our very own,
Mass-home-made,
Species’ suicide pill.

I watch,
And I listen,
To all those who whisper,
And shout,
The calm
And the strident,
And all in between.

The lovers,
The fighters,
The meek
And the mean.

And all I really take in,
The rhythm beneath the noise,
Is the growing pains
Of a world at war
With itself,
The birth of a new global order,
Unfortunately grasped
As is usual
By the furiously greedy few,
Who see the opportunity,
To screw everyone who isn’t them,
Using mass fear, and racial tension,
To pull the wool over the majority’s eyes,
While they busily reshuffle the deck,
Prep for check-mate,
Before moving in for the kill,
So sure of themselves,
And their control (money) over free will.

What these same arrogant,
Power-grabbing,
Self-satisfied few
Have forgotten, is that
Tens of thousands of
Years ago,
In humanity’s beginning,
Even those who imagined
An all powerful being,
In whatever shape, form, or number,
The one thing that omniscient presence
Could not control
Was free will.

And to the powers that be,
In light of the truth,
And all that has led
To the hear and now,
Beware
Your time is coming.

For in the fertile earth,
That you till, taking more
Than your fair share,
Trodding over all other living things,
You also plant the seeds
Of your own destruction.

So,
Like I said at
The beginning, the sorrow
I feel
As I watch this global car crash
In slow motion
Extends to those
Who believe that they are in
The driver’s seat;
You know not what you do.

And to the rest;
Open your eyes,
Hope and believe,
Open your heart,
Be compassionate,
Empathise,
For love and an open mind
Will be all the power any of us
Have left
When the dust settles.

Here’s to hoping
That we stop the train,
Or at least slow it down,
Before our world becomes a train wreck,
And we all suffer equally
For the greed of the few.

Wake up call

Early morning, crust just washed
Away, a bright start to a new day, the
Wet reminder of dog sick-soaked sock,
In the wash now, kitchen floor wet with
Night-time’s urgency, still it’s early, barely
Dawn, born of sleep, the groggy self still
Cracking open rough eyes, brain slow,
Molasses in July, still bright and shiny,
Kicking into high gear, then you, just awake,
Brighter eyed for years younger, smiling,
A hug and smile, warmth and love doled
Out, shuffling off to your own morning
Routine, then back to the semi-darkened room,
Slumbering beauty waiting for more cuddles
Kisses, all trailing me to the car, to work,
Happy voices, promises made, no more
Flashing anger to foggy dream, another
Warm hug and light kiss, dreaming my
Way to work, through morning traffic,
Parking with a smile, and only one wish
In my heart, that the happiness continues,
And that all should be as happy, continually,
I laugh while logging in, so much joy to be had,
Just another wonderful morning, life
Filled with love, warmth, and laughter,
It just doesn’t get better than this, does
It?