Tag Archives: memory

sleep

Sitting here, slumbering pooch nestled
Up warm back to base of my spine, black
Cat chittering excitedly from atop bed-
Room door, not swung wide enough to
Again knock hanging Eiffel Tower pic
From it’s single nail in the wall, old
Man Wishbone stretching as he settles,
Claws scrabbling for stretchy-purchase
On original hardwood hard-varnished floor, and
Still my aching temple does not relinquish the fact,
That not twenty-four hours ago, this self-
Same I, was wound up like coiled silver spring,
One more lost soul, caught up in the moment,
About to lose it, and all for the memory,
One clear clean frozen fraction of time,
Flooded with the warmth of memory, and
The pain of loss, this self-same man, me,
Was on the brink of being back in his
Mother’s warm smiling embrace, those
Soulful laughingly love-filled compassionate eyes,
Although a dear stranger, dear all the same,
Same down-dragging corner of mouth,
Same wicked humour glinting in eyes,
Until the puffy stroke-folded cheek,
Muscle toying with the hint of a smile,
Like an old man teasing one last curl of
The dumbbell, smiling while given muscles
Give in, she smiled at me, glad for some
Company, a friendly face. So I smiled
Back, and we chatted about the weather
And gloves, til my skinnydecaflatte arrived,
And I had no more excuses to stay, yet
I would have anyway, if the tears had not
Burned my eyes tightly shut, dry heat threatening
To burst the damns of self-inflicted self-reserve,
And chased me out of that plastic place,
Into the rain-splattered stony cathedral outside,
Where words and thoughts flooded through me,
In through my deepest soul pain, then
Back out again, until I could no more read
The words on my screen, and keep straight
Faced, and so I stood, back to nothing at all,
Silent torrents of loss, coursing down rain-
Damped cheeks, lost in my own world
Of memory and pain, wondering when I would ever see you again, mom,
Writing frozen fingers tapping the screen,
Blurred vision reading words quickly unseen
So much deep unearthment, earth movers away,

The knowledge that my mother’s love had reached through
The past, the last half-decade of years, to smile
Lovingly at me through familiar stranger’s eyes,
All rolled up together into an endless deep-breathing sigh,
Only to crash me back down, to earth, concrete and stone,
Reminding me that we are never alone, for our loved ones
Follow us, to be around when we’re down, and smile out at
Us from strangers’ eyes, to remind us of who we really are,
And of how far we’ve come, that as long as we haven’t given
Up, then we are nowhere near done, to never give up,
Nor surrender our selves, that’s the trick of all time,
No matter how old. So don’t give up, or
Give in, even if all seems to go, for your mother
May be peaking out of someone else’s eyes, just to
Say a quick hello, and how do you do, and
Fair thee well, goodnight, sweet dreams,
Let us all see what tomorrow brings.

true love

runs deep, beneath the under-
currents writhing souls in our own
true internal River Styx of the dead
and gone, past, but not forgotten,
those we love carried forever in our-
selves, our hearts and minds forever
changed, altered for the better, our
every moment touched by those who
made our hearts sing, and we stand
here, in reverent silence, remembering
how it was to hold the ones we love,
smiling through the quiet tears trailing
down inside as we feel the warmth of
their humour, spinning what can be
such a cruel world into the love for life
that they represent, for now and forever,
for that is what they are to us, whether
close to hand, or watching over every
thing we do, we know they are happy,
sharing in our joys, revelling and cheering
at our triumphs, eyes dancing as they always
did, filling our souls with that love which never ends,
true love.

to all those who have lost love,
said goodbye to the centre of their world,
watched reality crumble as they stood
powerless to stop the march of time,
let us remember our truly loved as they
want us to remember, not as sad, or
ill, tired or old, but as vibrant reminders of how
life is lived, not survived. Let us live for
them, and them through us, through our
joys and sorrows, through our memory,
through our true love.

Seagulls tease of oceans far

 
Seagulls tease
Of oceans far
Reminding me
Of salt memories

Of splashing waves
And sandy beaches
Of happy summers
Decades gone.

Yet still the thought
Of happy childhood
Echoed in the large birds’ cry
Taints the sharp cold bite of morning

Under the faint grey blue sky.

blushing shy

A miscaught glance shared,
Grape half-poised to mouth,
Cheek reddened, down-turned
Eyes, momentary blush of
Exquisitely caught time, like
A fisherman reeling in perfect
Bespoke moments, wonderment
Born, what will the future bring,
For the blush triggered by mis-
Read happenstance, timing linked
To in-born hope, that self-same
Happy momentary promise-thought
That once raised flows further
Forward down would-have could-
Have should-have maybes, like
All other such instant daydreams
Sweeping us further from our-
Selves, as undercurrents of the
Shared sub-conscious, never controlled
Controlling, rather, our hearts carried
Away by our own sordid imagination,
Promising real solid occurrence from
A moment’s purest accident,
Yet not for me. What of norm would
Have me floating down a
Similar green-blue luke-warm
Dream stream instead reminded me
That I am somewhere else, thinking
Of someone never met, yet close to hand
As if somehow proximity was no
More real than forgotten summer’s
Kiss brushed gently across forever
Pursed lips. Come join me,
Celebrate this great love we
All share, remembering we are
But human, no more real, near
Or distant from those we miss
Than a stolen glance mistaken by
One as promises missed, by another
A tantalising reminder of someone
Not yet fully met, yet missed
All the same.