I find myself checking my download count for the three poetry books I have published so far, like an expectant gardener watching his crops turn from seedlings into blossoming fruit.
It is difficult not to feel a shade excited by a ‘good’ day of downloads. The danger is, of course, that I’ll be down in the dumps after no or low downloads.
More interesting, to me at least, is the fact that I need the feedback of people choosing to download my books to feel better about my writing…or do I?
Truth be told, I have probably spent more time mucking about with my blog (thank you Adam for making it look so good…on Monday this week – I’ve probably already wrecked it by putting up ‘halfway’ decent graphics – sorry man!), checking my download count on Smashwords and generally not doing what I should be – which is rewriting my Killer Application book.
It is way too easy to get distracted. The procrastinator kicks in and tells me all is well – I still have six months to get it into second draft shape. Yet that is a goal I set so as not to put too much pressure on myself, an arbitrary goal to say the least. Yet it is counting down towards me and I have lost a bit of traction on the rewriting. Not a bad thing – distance may give me a better perspective, yet I feel it is not the right time for perspective. The danger, of course, is slowing down too much…or is it?
I wonder if all artists, writers, creators feel this way. Maybe this is a common theme – to keep the pace up while not burning all of the energy at once. It is a hard balance to strike – between sleep and writing. Seeing as this is only my ‘hobby’ (until I publish Killer App and start to actually ‘sell’ books instead of give them away), I guess I have to take the balanced view.
Oh to be able to spend all of my time writing – what joy, what excitement, what unbelievable bliss! I envy you, full-time writers, I really do. I am sure there are issues with it, but as Terry Pratchett once said, “Writing is the most fun anyone can have by themselves.” It is true. Nothing I have ever done on my own aside from writing has given me so much joy and satisfaction.
No, this does not count ‘raising children’. That is not done on your own, even as a single parent like me. That is done with the child or children – they are as much a part of the ‘raising’ as we parents are. In fact, I’m pretty sure my daughter raised me as much as I her. 🙂 Thanks Sky!
Anyway, I’ve decided to go away and stop mucking about with my blog, and the store I tried to create, and the ebooks I keep playing around with (oooh oooh ooh, I’ll just waste another three hours placing the new logo my mate Adam created for me for Darker Zeus on my ebooks…and create a new anthology of free stories…NO! Get back to work!).
Sometimes we have to be the disciplinarian. I think parenting others (children, people you know, your own parents) is easier than parenting ourselves.
Do they teach classes in ‘parenting yourself’?
Til next time, adios and good luck in all your endeavours!
Em (mE)
