tired,
irritable,
grumpy, burning
eyes wanting to shut,
yet no battle so hardly won,
is lost so easily to being
frustrated,
me.
grrr.
g’night.
Category Archives: Random Thoughts
Radom thoughts are different than quotables cause…well…they’re random thoughts. Don’t know how to explain it any better. Have a look if you want! :)
beautiful fear
I love the way
You make me feel,
Each and every day.
Your smiling eyes,
Dance with tease
As you tweak my
Nipples sore.
You are the woman
Of my dreams, my
Every waking thought,
Of horny, sexy fantasy,
And happy warm hearth
Home. You make me smile
With everything you do,
Keep me coming back for
More, and even when I
Want to be serious your
Humour throws me off,
In all the best ways possible,
You are my perfect dream,
The woman I want to wake up
Next to, forever and a day,
And still I watch you from
The door, going about your
Daily routine, and my heart
Wants to freeze time for
Ever more, just in case this
Is all a dream.
I love you with all of me,
From deepest, darkest self,
Like a child walking in the
Dark, I sometimes am afraid
That my lifetime’s blind-
Ness, clumsy and deaf at
Times will push you far away,
And these poems from my
Heart, merely beg for you to
Stay. Don’t lose patience with
Me now, at least not for very
Long, as I love you from the
Very bottom of who I am
And I love you lifetime long.
sleep
Sitting here, slumbering pooch nestled
Up warm back to base of my spine, black
Cat chittering excitedly from atop bed-
Room door, not swung wide enough to
Again knock hanging Eiffel Tower pic
From it’s single nail in the wall, old
Man Wishbone stretching as he settles,
Claws scrabbling for stretchy-purchase
On original hardwood hard-varnished floor, and
Still my aching temple does not relinquish the fact,
That not twenty-four hours ago, this self-
Same I, was wound up like coiled silver spring,
One more lost soul, caught up in the moment,
About to lose it, and all for the memory,
One clear clean frozen fraction of time,
Flooded with the warmth of memory, and
The pain of loss, this self-same man, me,
Was on the brink of being back in his
Mother’s warm smiling embrace, those
Soulful laughingly love-filled compassionate eyes,
Although a dear stranger, dear all the same,
Same down-dragging corner of mouth,
Same wicked humour glinting in eyes,
Until the puffy stroke-folded cheek,
Muscle toying with the hint of a smile,
Like an old man teasing one last curl of
The dumbbell, smiling while given muscles
Give in, she smiled at me, glad for some
Company, a friendly face. So I smiled
Back, and we chatted about the weather
And gloves, til my skinnydecaflatte arrived,
And I had no more excuses to stay, yet
I would have anyway, if the tears had not
Burned my eyes tightly shut, dry heat threatening
To burst the damns of self-inflicted self-reserve,
And chased me out of that plastic place,
Into the rain-splattered stony cathedral outside,
Where words and thoughts flooded through me,
In through my deepest soul pain, then
Back out again, until I could no more read
The words on my screen, and keep straight
Faced, and so I stood, back to nothing at all,
Silent torrents of loss, coursing down rain-
Damped cheeks, lost in my own world
Of memory and pain, wondering when I would ever see you again, mom,
Writing frozen fingers tapping the screen,
Blurred vision reading words quickly unseen
So much deep unearthment, earth movers away,
The knowledge that my mother’s love had reached through
The past, the last half-decade of years, to smile
Lovingly at me through familiar stranger’s eyes,
All rolled up together into an endless deep-breathing sigh,
Only to crash me back down, to earth, concrete and stone,
Reminding me that we are never alone, for our loved ones
Follow us, to be around when we’re down, and smile out at
Us from strangers’ eyes, to remind us of who we really are,
And of how far we’ve come, that as long as we haven’t given
Up, then we are nowhere near done, to never give up,
Nor surrender our selves, that’s the trick of all time,
No matter how old. So don’t give up, or
Give in, even if all seems to go, for your mother
May be peaking out of someone else’s eyes, just to
Say a quick hello, and how do you do, and
Fair thee well, goodnight, sweet dreams,
Let us all see what tomorrow brings.
Mustn’t grumble
As old ocean
Grumbles, deep down joints
Are scanning for movement
Not the way it used to be,
When all was young and new,
And lateral movement a daily joy,
Untainted by fear of damage, break-
Age, or flipped wrong-side-up ligaments,
Tendons squeak tensional protest, as
Old edges to a young body complain,
The gym a place of self mutilation and
Torture, eagerly and easily signed up for,
We pay for the privilege of suffering
In company, misery does not want to be
Alone, and so it is, I push my aching muscles and
Protesting joints to their limit, knowing
That body beautiful is not important
Yet being healthy is. Bow down to the
Shrine of self-flagellation that is called
Fitness, bow down and be counted
Head-low, for this is the new age of
Old timers getting into the swing of
Things, oldtimers no longer rule the
World, but we sure as hell can crowd
The gym!
Love conquers all
You spend a lifetime, waiting
For the right one, the one for
You, so wrapped up in your daily
Life that when they do come, you
Are two years into true love, a half-
Step from marriage, and you stop
And pinch yourself, because you are
Well and truly happy, for once, and
It didn’t cost your soul, or require a
Massive sacrifice, or some Hollywood
Fairytale ending, but rather just hard
Graft, and hope, sprinkled with a dose
Of serendipity, to make all of your
Dreams come true, as if everything
Were just waiting to fall into place,
Busy hanging in the balance until such
Time as the pieces could simply fall
Into place, so easily, so smoothly, that
Even in retrospect, sitting in the cat-
Bird seat, you watch the world slot
Together, just as so many years ago,
So many times, you watched it crumble
So many times, so far, that you thought
It could never be whole again, never
Be balanced, even with all your hard work
Keeping your shit together, pulling
Yourself up by your own socks, telling
Yourself that it will get better, that it
Has to, until the sound of your own
Internal voice drones on like a monot-
Onous bedtime story nursery rhyme,
Putting all of your get up and go to bed,
Making some days hard enough to
Even get out of bed, those long slow
Cold days where the world spins on,
Leaving you standing stunned, silent,
And then you wake up one bright crisp
Morn, like today, and you realise that
Not only has your life moved on, and
You with it, your life is better, not just
Good but great, the fairytale has landed
Somewhere within your life estate,
And all you can do is pinch yourself,
Pinch and squirm and smile, because
Everything you have ever really wanted
Has come true all the while, so bear
With, and hang in, don’t fuss, and
Carry on, don’t quit, make good, and
Have the strength to stand alone, cause
Fairytale endings happen everyday,
No matter how bad it might seem to
Get, or how cold and lonely your way,
For life works in cycles, some are up,
And some down, but if you stick it out
Try your hardest, push when all energy
Fails, you’ll find yourself where I now am,
Happy, comfortable, no longer off the
Rails, for love conquers
All fear.