It hangs
Around
Inside
Like a
Noose
Around my neck,
Tightening
With every breath,
This life I lead, in and of myself
A lie,
No more than the premise
Of a human
Being
Nothing more
Than thin skin
Stretched taut
Over blood
And bones,
Heart pulsing
Fast or slow
No more matter
Than anything really mattered at all
And still I pretend
To be something I am not
More than nothing
Full of meaning
When I know it is all a lie
And the only truth –
Sweet moments of love
Escape
Stolen from perfect eyes,
Frozen moments of reality
Shivering
Like the child inside,
Lost
Alone,
Dancing to the edge
Eyes glint
Daring the night to steal my soul away
Yet still I breathe,
Still, in the silence humming between the
Shivering sliver silver crescendo in my ears,
No way to turn it off, just so –
Shattering silence
Louder the more I notice the background
Sibilants
Hissing
A great nothing fighting hum
Frozen behind the constant shattering
Of my eardrums
Explosions of ice-cold glass chimes,
Cutting my mind into a thousand pieces,
Hovering just outside my reason,
Like some horrific nightmare torture,
Always there, ever-present, never
Free.

Just breathe.